YOU. SUCK.

Baka sensitive lang s’ya” (Maybe she’s just sensitive)

Wait. WHAT?

My thoughts automatically shut as I stared with wide eyes at a colleague who was explaining to me something she retrieved from a meeting. After the words sunk like hard metal on my throat, the rest of the conversation easily dissolved into blur.

BAKA. SENSITIVE. LANG. SIYA.

“Sensitive”, meaning, it all emerged from her “senses”. Just because it does not seem offensive to you, the deed cannot offend somebody else. Being offended is a subjective thing. One thing can offend another, one thing cannot. So who are you to question what can offend her and what cannot?

Maybe I am just overreacting. Or maybe seeing the young girl shiver with tears running down her face is called “OVERREACTING”. Or maybe with that little voice as she questioned me with her safety is something that made me feel like I should “OVERREACT” and STAND FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN.

How about you? Coming from a firm and well-rounded foundations in education and in this society, who are you to lessen the burden of the predator and put some blame – if not all – on the prey?

YOU. SUCK.

YOU. MAKE. ME. SICK.

Adult-ing (-ish)

Sitting alone in a café, calmly drinking my Java Chip that is plotted to be consumed within the next two hours while I gradually encode those that are still for my reports.

Never have I imagined myself doing these clichéd things you see in movies and in the malls.

I stopped what I was doing because of three points:

  1. The urge to write suddenly awakens (HA. Where have you been, old friend?)
  2. My ego said I should, because you know, it’s a café. YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TRY TO DO THIS and mainly because;
  3. I needed to reflect.

This is the point where I usually track my life with constant rantings and reflection. Where in the world am I? Is this maturity I am experiencing? Should I be proud of what I have been doing for the previous years – to date?

Ever since my university life ended, life has never felt like it’s on fast-forward. Career, education, bills, career, bills, bills, and another bill, usually consumed my attention and strive.

This is maturity.

I still want to study, to earn a degree of some sort that can help me be more effective in my craft – but it’s too expensive! To constantly travel with my girlfriends, to spoil my Papeng to the best that I can, to give back the love and support to my family – few things that still floats on my ledger.

I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck anymore.

Of course. Everybody has their dream business.

In this era where technology and empowerment can be reached with the tip of our fingers, I want to venture out of my comfort zone. To have a stable backup plan, to have a name of my own, to create a legacy that can travel from mouth to mouth, all of which cannot happen overnight, of course. All of which cannot happen if all of every aspect of your life is still unstable.

Privacy is vital.

Ironic as it is, but even now that I am living alone, independent in almost every sort, did I only come to realize that privacy can be so expensive. Privacy isn’t always about having some time alone. It can be the slightest touch of information or the most infamous news about your life.

Living within the edges of privacy can be your ass-saving weapon at this point of your life. Like words, it can either make or break you. It can save your ass from a lot of explanation for people who are either curious, or just plain chismosa.

GTG now, Java Chip’s running out!

*featured image grabbed from the internet

 

Life outside the blog: Kuala Lumpur 2016 (Q&A Portion)

An overview

Before we went to Malaysia, I did my research to the whats, whens, wheres, and hows, and of all the ins and outs of the foreign land. There were some that were answered but mostly just had shares on their experiences in Malaysia. It sure is a nice experience being in a foreign but yet very similar country to where I am from. So, to help my kapwa Filipinos get a taste and learn a few from what I had, here are few of the questions I myself had, before we went to Kuala Lumpur.

Question: Is it similar here in the Philippines?

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Need I say more?

To elaborate – yup. Pretty much everything is similar.

It was also very humid but like here in the Philippines, the weather can be unpredictable. I remember it suddenly rained while we were on our second day of the tour. I suggest you bring a jacket or at least a poncho, for we may never know…

Question: Are the locales, nice? And can they speak English?

Like every other place in the universe, it will not lessen you as a person to be the first one to be nice. A smile before approaching a stranger, a good morning or a warm “hello” before trying to ask for directions can definitely help you, big time. Lucky for us, we did not experience any “unpleasant” encounters while staying there and I’m sure that’s a sure sign that Malaysians are indeed, nice.

And they can speak in English, definitely!

Question: Where is the wisest place to exchange your money?

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There are a lot of money changers in Kuala Lumpur. Have it changed with the money changers along the streets downtown, and don’t forget your receipt! Also, the exchange rates in the KL International Airport is a bit high. FYI. 🙂

Question: Are the commodities in Malaysia, expensive?

OK. Let’s start with the food. The variety of food we had ranges from 10 Malaysian Ringgit to 30 Malaysian Ringgit which is equivalent to PHP140 to PHP300+. Not bad, isn’t it? To estimate (except the dinner we had at Atmosphere 360), the total expenses for food of our 4-day trip will range to PHP 3,000 more or less. I told you! It’s not that bad. And of course, the here and there coffee and snack we had while enjoying the trip.

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Here’s a picture of what we had at the Suria KLCC’s foodcourt. Daaang. It’s good. I mean, really good. Not bad for a 16RM worth per order isn’t it?

I also remember that not all fast food chains served rice, a lot of them had chicken, fries and a muffin – which I think is the best pastry I had in Malaysia. Too bad we were too tired to take a picture of that muffin. Or even the fast food chain, hehe.

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A KFC meal. Can you see that covered maroon-ish dip right there? That’s what they call a Sambal. It is made from different herbs and spices and fast food chains serve their food with it. Sa airport nga lang ako nakakita ng Catsup eh. LOL. As far as I can remember this is worth 15RM or so.

Ooohhh! Before I forget, choose a hotel that has a bed-and-breakfast perk, saves you a lot of moolah!

Question: Where is the best location to book a hotel?

Apple Hotel, Jalan Alor is the smoothest place for you and your gang if you’re into “exotic” food of the locales. Right outside the hotel window you can see that the street is filled with vendors holding their menus inviting everyone – especially tourists – to come and eat at their place. Also, it’s near everywhere! Walking distance to the Petronas Twin Towers, the train stations, and a whole lot of shopping districts, if I may.

Hindi po ito Binondo, sa Jalan Alor po iyan. I told you it’s similar

So there you go… I hope this will help you with your Malaysia trip!

PS. The next post will most likely be about the places and a few quick tips, all of course, from a first-hand experience of the Malaysian hospitality and warmth.

Life outside the blog: The Return

New endeavors, same old self.

As I breathe in and out the regret going through life outside this blog, (and more importantly, outside a journal) I slowly realized that maybe it’s time to start writing again. Same old self with a whole lot of new pursuits is what lied before me. There were some challenges that I have gone through, new faces met, unusual pathways taken but it’s the same old self that I have been improving. It sure is a tiring thing to tediously commit to, that’s for sure but journals and this blog had kept me on my feet every single time being “positive” is not enough.

Brace yourselves with what maybe succeeding this post will be piles of what kept me busy in 2016!

LET’S START!

The Major “Virtual” Turning Point

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done” – Vincent van Gogh

Before we break down the lexis of my new tagline, let me take this moment to say my sincerest appreciation to those who have been avid readers of erbasilio.wordpress.com for the last three years: Thank you so much for reaching this point of my ramblings and unworthy posts, and for lending me your virtual ears. This is truly something I will forever value. And for those who just subscribed to my blog, I would like to extend my gratitude still. The mere fact that you are reading this right now deserves a heartfelt thank you.

Three and years and counting – that’s how long I have been blogging ideas, crafts, cosmetics, adventures, ranting, pictures, reviews, events and all that on erbasilio.wordpress.com. Never in my wildest dream have I imagined that a day filled with pathetic insecurities and enraged teenage hormones will lead me this far. “Confessions of a Bored Damsel” being the first tagline for this blog, were the exact words to sum up how aloof I was with life way back when I started on WordPress.

But now, that I have set my priorities – not just with this blog but in real life as well – I decided to alter the posts that I will be publishing. If you are expecting me to delete or edit the previous posts here, well then you are wrong. Let us treat that as the past that WE CAN NEVER CHANGE. Hence, what we can change is the FUTURE through PRESENT TIME.

Breaking the thin line between geeky and beauty.

Breaking is the word I chose to emphasize the eternal state of things that are broken (literally and figuratively). Pieces might be brought back together, but it will never be like it was before.

The thin line, on the other hand, is my way to describe how very much parallel it seems to me both being a “geek” and “beautiful” are. This thin line parts mainstream beauty from those who are also priceless themselves.

Through Breaking the Thin Line between Geeky and Beauty only can I advocate that being a “non-mainstream” or by just being you, showcases true exquisiteness itself. This might include embracing awkward interests; even strange sets of interests, (like cosmetics and the cosmos, a punk rock enthusiast and a Disney baby, or by a being an environmental warrior and a style guru) will never hold back the genuine beauty we all have. I know for some, this may sound like the oddest of pairs, but I know I am not the only one who has them.

That is why I came up to object the clichéd concept of being on “that side” of a person. I personally would like to promote how being you – even if it is by being geeky – can be the only way of having true beauty.

PS. I am still working on a better header so, sorry for the quality as for now.

Looking For Alaska – An Unsolicited Book Review

Christmas Break! It’s that time of the year when books are to be returned to libraries in replacement of the to-be-busy festive of the upcoming holiday. As I was about to leave our university’s library, a student assistant, who coincidentally had to be my previous PE classmate, mentioned a far-fetched privilege I just had to have that day. Students have this chance to borrow up to three books for a due that was weeks after. Still stunned by the crazy, spontaneous and about-to-be-abused idea, I really did not have the time to scan around the library so I decided to push against fate to whatever it was on the counter. Lucky enough, I found myself reading the title of this black book that was on top of the “return” pile that day. Though this was not the first of what I have read of John Green’s, this was the sure first that felt close to my senses.

Looking For Alaska is not the first of its kind – I’m sure of that. But the “novel” kind of approach really did have its impact on what it sets to portray on a very heartfelt manner. Basing on the title, I sure did had a hunch on how the story will go, but again setting it on a creative and incredibly ingenious type of approach managed its way to my interest on a simple yet reflective way. The title did not really reveal much of what it really is, but I guess that made its mystery a tad more compelling.

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Not wanting to be a spoiler, but I just really want to share my deep appreciation for how John Green has managed to bring life – but not too fictitious – to the characters. It did unveil how teenagers would behave and how, given the complexity of this life, can bring them all together in an instant. I mean, how a, should I say, a “nobody” like Pudge Halters had manage to be with such an adventurous crew like that of the Colonel’s. But that’s just the simplest of it all.

The other thing I truly admire is the way that the author had managed to visualize and bring life to a character like that of Alaska Young’s. She’s smart, but yet she had her shortcomings too. She’s tough but what others does not seem to be aware about is that she just seems tough, but she could be a fur ball too deep down. And that’s the truth about life. People may act as the toughest, but then again it’s just that sometimes, there are just excuses – plausible ones – that make them act like they just not give a damn at all. Another thing that made me love Alaska Young’s character is that she most definitely broke that thin line between being a good-ass and a bad-ass for a teenager. I mean, that was a sure hit for me. A girl can be both smart and crazy and that does not (and will never) mean it’s just one out of the other.

To stop myself from further spoiling tendencies, I have gathered enough guts to give personal responses on “some intentionally vague and discussion questions” from Looking For Alaska:

Q: Is forgiveness universal? Is forgiveness readily available to all people, no matter the circumstances? Is it possible for the dead to forgive the living, and for the living to forgive the dead?

Yes. I’d have to agree that forgiveness is both universal and is readily available to all people. But I guess that it’s a case-to-case basis that would depend on some unrelated factors pre-, peri-, and post- the “forgiving” period. I agreed that forgiveness is universal because I support and believe that humans are naturally born with an innate likeness to be good and that goodness exhausts even with dark “forces” around us. But humans, as I believe, are also naturally skeptic, lessening the odds of accepting apologies from people who might or might not seek it.

For the possibility of the dead forgiving the living and the living forgiving the dead, I say it would be a yes too. Based on experience, though I cannot say that I have fully grasped the “true” –whether it’s existing or not – meaning of forgiveness, but what I can share with you is that time does help a lot with this. It helps us people lessen the hatred and seize more enlightenment, and it helps us divert our senses to other worth-while tricks that the world can offer.

Q: I would argue that both in fiction and in real life, teenage smoking is a symbolic action. What do you think it’s intended to symbolize, and what does it actually end up symbolizing? Why would anyone ever pay money in exchange for the opportunity to acquire lung cancer and/or emphysema?

I think teenage smoking symbolizes rebellion. Most of the time, I think teenagers who smoke or who are interested in smoking have this view that the world will respect and consider them as adults if they do what the adults are doing too. Maybe it brings them confidence, not just with how the world would see them if they are considered “smoking” but maybe just mere confidence that they can do whatever it is to do just because they can lit one up. And to answer the last question, I just think they ignore it. You know, to make them look like someone who doesn’t give a shiz. Besides, a vice is still a vice no matter how expensive or deadly it is. When someone is indulged in the thinking that their “habit” is something that they cannot live without, it’s just them and their world. No matter how hard people try to get them out of their sinkhole, it’s just them and their “habit.”

So, top this post a cherry of unsolicited advice, Looking For Alaska is a book to recommend. Its twists has its creative way of putting the reader on the edge of their seats, though this book didn’t use profound euphemisms or whatsoever glittery-pompoms, its turn of events are something to watch or read for.  Most certainly an 8 out of ten.

What Writing Is To Me

“I first began writing, because I wanted to record a way of life which I loved and which seemed in danger of dying away”

– Sylvia Watanabe


As I was rereading the first few life reflection posts on my Burn Book, I felt that inner rush to post this quote – that for me is very much relatable – and which apparently, I have also written on the second page of my journal, months back.

Both as an escape and an adventure – that’s what writing is to me.

Writing is the only escape I could think of in times where I feel that emotions to be shared with other people are too strong to be empathized with. It lets me jump into places, ideas, issues, and sentiments that reading cannot withstand alone. Though reading is something I do to distract my senses from things that I often times get irritated with, writing, on the other hand, gives me that special sanctuary that this world could never offer. Sometimes I write to myself, sometimes I pretend to write to others in certain cases that diverting the persona is a hindrance towards my emotion-release; sometimes I write to God, to Papeng, and to other persons or issues that I am currently gripped with. It’s just that “castaway” feeling of indulging your consciousness directly into recorded details that makes me feel enlightened and radiant every time I write. Sending of recorded details to someone or to something I am not sure of – is where is the adventure part of writing comes in.

Right before I even tried to be faithful to my diary, I always thought of people who write on diaries as people who don’t even know how to have fun. I, frankly speaking, still think that it’s such a dork way to spend your time with. But in reality, this “dork way” of spending your time is so much of a mystery and amusement in itself. Most especially in times of rereading your previous writings; it will make you reflect on your previous life issues in a detailed and funny way just by merely, reading it again. But then once more, these details aren’t just for the “fun”, it brings every issue of your life in their proper meaning and respective order just by writing about it now, and then reflecting how you bounced back from that crisis, afterwards.

Celebrating life isn’t just all that, it will be so much fun too to let yourself have a detailed glimpse of how the process of life sharpens you through the years.